gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
