i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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