This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He better not be in your backpack
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize