The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
