You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I need to align my fucking chakras
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
