It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
