he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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