The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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