at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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