would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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