I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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