I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
