the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
