it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
