I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
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I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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