Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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