margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
