I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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