There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
