my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think my moral compass just broke
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
