whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
