Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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