we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
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It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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