apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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