Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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