it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
