I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
