I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
