she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
