Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
