You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
