Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
