He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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