i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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