Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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