yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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