Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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