I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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