I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
