Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
