As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
