I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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