remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
