i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
