Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
People in love make me want to vomit
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
