Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
