I CAN MOONWALK!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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