I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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