it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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