see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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