u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
