I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
