just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
