Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
