we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Are my feet made of real feet?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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