I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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