i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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