I wish I could punch you in the face.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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