You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
